tired

Oh I am sooooooooo tired. Sleep is not my friend these days...it seems to be avoiding me. Of course that could have a little to do with the schedule I have no choice but to keep.

I am still having issues with the loss of a friendship but as each day passes it seems to be getting a bit easier to handle. I need to get past the anger over the entire situation. I need to really put it out there what I am feeling at the moment so that hopefully I can get past this. I am very angry with myself for letting it all affect me the way I am. ARRRRRRRRR

I do NOT deserve to be treated the way I am being treated by her at all. She gets upset about the way her family treats her (and so do I because I think it sucks they treat her the way they do) but she is treating me the same way they treat her. I didn't do a damn thing to her to make her act this way towards me. It is not fair and Dammit I deserve better.

I am sick and tired of being so pathetic and jumping at any little scrap of attention she may show. I need to stop it. Completely and totally...once and for all.

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It has been a very busy week. I am exhausted but trudging along. My sugar has been on a virtual roller coaster ride and I know that is affecting my energy level as well. I have also been coming home from school every night and chatting til all hours....what can I say...I have someone to talk to and am so wired when i get home from school it is next to impossible to sleep. I am going to try and get to bed earlier tonight...we'll see what happens though.... ;)

I have also been worried about my test results from my pap test....and am praying it is nothing serious...hopefully just a fluke...but the fact that I am having so many problems has me a little apprehensive. Oh well...I just need to take it as it comes....what happens...happens....it is life.

UGH....I need to get my ass in gear and head out to school....I so totally need a nap....and I really should get to bed early tonight because i have a long day of driving ahead of me after work tomorrow....going to visit my best friend back home for the weekend....I can't wait....