why can't i let go?

what is my problem?
why is it so hard to let go of someone who so very obviously doesn't want anything to do with me anymore?
why do i let it affect me the way it does? am i obsessed or what?
it took so much for me to trust her with my heart...and i ended up with her in my soul...how do i just move on and get passed this?
why was it so easy for her to just "kick me to the curb" after all that we shared?

i need to get over this and move on...i am hoping that by finally being able to get it all out that maybe, just maybe i can begin to live in that area of my life once again.....

i "talked" to her tonight...and as usual when things got serious she said brb and disappeared....all because i got up the guts to finally stick up for myself and my feelings...i had to laugh....because i knew that would happen....as long as everything remains superficial everything is fine...but when it comes to having my feelings validated for what they are....hurt feelings that i need her help/understanding to work through if we are to maintain a friendship....either the subject gets changed...or she disappears....

it is just so frustrating....i am hoping that tonight was the last time and that i will have the strength to stop going back for more...to stop wondering what she is doing...to stop thinking about all the good things i wish i could share with her...to just let go completely....if only i could get the memory of the last night we were together out of my head i think it might be easier....because that is when life as i knew it changed forever....it was that night that i first felt alive....and 2 days later the world came crashing down around me and has been a rollercoaster ride of emotion ever since.....

LOVE SUCKS!!!!